Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
