Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
