wat bout pragnant strippers??
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
