Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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