Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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