idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
