Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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