We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
