Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
two words: eviction party
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
