dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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