girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
