i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
