this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize