We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
