it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
