i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
A+ Viking dick
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
