I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
