Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
