Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
