Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
