Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
