6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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