he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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