I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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