is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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