i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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