Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just gargled with NyQuil
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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