Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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