I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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