where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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