fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
