it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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