well I can't set my house on fire every night
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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