She just used a chaser for red wine.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
