True but thats because hes a fetus.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
