She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
