Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
did i walk over a car last night?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
