The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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