did you get engaged???
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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