Just fell off a train. Bad.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Randomize
