we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
