At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
