oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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