In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
