omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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