I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
