In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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