I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
