just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
