Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Randomize
