That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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